1.) I am afraid of my Quickbooks. I never accept the Intuit updates, because I fear my QB will be hacked or infected by a virus or Intuit will be able to spy freely on my commercial accounts. But, because I don’t update, one day my QB refuses to open. I take my laptop to darling Ralph in IT on the eighth floor, and he replaces my 2009 QB with 2016 QB. This is lovely and modern, but now my QB constantly alerts me that I haven’t incorporated my accountant changes from 2014 (although it looks as if the changes HAVE BEEN incorporated.) So I’m going to have to take my laptop to the accountant.
2.) I no longer know what “hack” means. I thought it meant some digital thugs from Eastern Europe had gained access to my email, but now I’m being urged to try some “brilliant lifestyle hacks.” I think these are often on Pinterest, which I joined, but I am hesitant to dive deep into the many “pins” that have been reserved for me. Perhaps I will never surface.
3.) I have just learned that there is a newer—perhaps digitally superior—acronym for “lol” or “laugh out loud.” It is apparently “kek,” which is from the online game “World of Warcraft.” (Which reminds me of Phil Dunphy from “Modern Family” talking about how he knows all the cool online acronyms: lol, omg, and wtf, which, as he explains it, means “why the face.”)
4.) Tumblr is said to have a reputation as a nasty site, but there are more genteel zones within the site. This was the word at last week’s Winning Strategies public relations staff meeting.
5.) Totally unrelated to the listicle theme: Is Sarah Palin on drugs? Should she be? She seems much more manic than she was during her run for VEEP. I loved her sparkly top at the Trump endorsement, though. Very Vegas-meets-Juneau.
6.) And this is the capper. My twenty-something son and daughter now work out their unresolved and unrelenting sibling rivalry by stealth-changing PINs and passwords. Maeve started it by changing the password on the family Netflix account because she believed my son Tom and his girlfriend were excessively accessing Netflix from their apartment. She changed the password to “[Expletive] Tom.”
Tom thought Maeve was monopolizing the family room with the big-screen TV and the instant-on gas fireplace during winter break. So he installed a PIN on the cable account and parental-blocked the E network, thereby depriving my daughter and my husband of their essential consumption of the Kardashians. Oozing politeness, Maeve got on the phone with a cable rep, but my daughter kept turning to me to remind me what a piece of crap her brother was.
I took my iPad upstairs for some soothing online meditation with Deepak and Oprah.
Kek.
